Tania Khala I am sending you all my love. Please write, it will make you feel better. Please know that me and mama are always here for you. We are just a phone call away. We will never forget about sehar Khala.
Thank you for this. Thank you for being so thoughtful. Sehar was my sister… she took a piece of my head with her. I can’t imagine this world without her. She was my Go to girl, my true ride or die, no one can ever replace her.. ever!
I’m in tears as I write this. For the past week, I’ve tried countless times to put my feelings into words, but nothing ever seemed enough. Reading your beautiful piece today has given me the courage to try again.
She was so much more than a friend to me—she was family, my confidante, and one of the most precious people in my life. Every word you wrote about her resonated deeply because it was all so true. She touched so many lives with her kindness, warmth, and love.
Her loss has left an emptiness that feels impossible to describe. I miss her every day, and I honestly don’t know how to carry this heavy ache in my heart without her by my side. I only know that she was deeply loved and will be missed beyond words.
Thank you for honouring her so beautifully and for capturing the essence of the remarkable person she was.
I’m very sorry for your loss. I confess. I had to look up the definition of “Khala” as it is not a word I am familiar with. Or hear regularly.
From the definitions I’ve managed to find. It means Maternal Aunt. You have implied however. That blood ties are not required.
I find this fascinating as I know in many cultures here in North America. From the Indigenous to my own Mennonite upbringing.
“Aunt” or “Auntie” is a female elder we love and cherish.
Loss of such people in our lives is keenly felt. Having said that. It is very hard to critique something like you have written. As you in no way want to diminish the feeling felt behind the words.
So I will understand perfectly if you don’t wish to read beyond this point. Or simply don’t comment on it.
Grief and Loss are two very similar but different things. Which are often confused with each other.
If I was to define personally. Loss is not having a person to walk to the store with. Grief is going for a walk to the store and missing the person who use to go with you.
They sound so similar. However the defining difference is often. That you can feel one and not the other. You can also feel both often at different times.
Your article blurred these two. Or danced in the grey areas far too much for me if you like.
I have seen others get pulled into grief so far they can not function at least not as they did. It smothers them. For days, weeks, months, maybe even years.
The only way they seem to move on. Is to put that grief aside.
Then there are people like me. Who function regularly. Then the bus turns a corner something happens. Which reminds us of that person. We then feel grief. Doesn’t go away.
Neither is better or worse. I should also add. That in the former example. The people I know. Usually have reoccurrences at special times. The persons birthday, an anniversary.
I think you are correct. We all feel grief because we have known love.
I just believe that Loss. How that person affected us. Is truly as powerful. Yet different than grief.
First and foremost thank you so much for taking the time to read my piece so thoughtfully, and for your kind words about my khala I really appreciate it. I also appreciate you sharing your perspective on grief and loss.
When I was writing about it, I hadn't considered separating the two in quite the way you had described, and I found your example of walking to the store extremely moving. It captures something really real that sometimes what we carry isn't always grief in the most overwhelming form, but the quiet absence of someone who made ordinary moments feel different.
When I was writing this essay, I wasn't trying to offer a universal definition of grief so much as describe what it has felt for me as someone who has recently lost their aunt. In many ways, grief and loss have been intertwined, which is probably why the boundaries between them have become so intertwined throughout my writing.
So from the bottom of my heart thank you for your comment. One of the things that I love the most about conversations like this is realizing that we all experience love, loss, and grief differently. Thank you for sharing your experience so generously, and respectfully; it really gave me something meaningful to further reflect on.
I hope to see you as a future subscriber to ayro &co.
Tania Khala I am sending you all my love. Please write, it will make you feel better. Please know that me and mama are always here for you. We are just a phone call away. We will never forget about sehar Khala.
My pyari beti,
Thank you for this. Thank you for being so thoughtful. Sehar was my sister… she took a piece of my head with her. I can’t imagine this world without her. She was my Go to girl, my true ride or die, no one can ever replace her.. ever!
She is in a better place now. I know she is♥️
My dear Ayra,
I’m in tears as I write this. For the past week, I’ve tried countless times to put my feelings into words, but nothing ever seemed enough. Reading your beautiful piece today has given me the courage to try again.
She was so much more than a friend to me—she was family, my confidante, and one of the most precious people in my life. Every word you wrote about her resonated deeply because it was all so true. She touched so many lives with her kindness, warmth, and love.
Her loss has left an emptiness that feels impossible to describe. I miss her every day, and I honestly don’t know how to carry this heavy ache in my heart without her by my side. I only know that she was deeply loved and will be missed beyond words.
Thank you for honouring her so beautifully and for capturing the essence of the remarkable person she was.
With love,
❤️
I’m very sorry for your loss. I confess. I had to look up the definition of “Khala” as it is not a word I am familiar with. Or hear regularly.
From the definitions I’ve managed to find. It means Maternal Aunt. You have implied however. That blood ties are not required.
I find this fascinating as I know in many cultures here in North America. From the Indigenous to my own Mennonite upbringing.
“Aunt” or “Auntie” is a female elder we love and cherish.
Loss of such people in our lives is keenly felt. Having said that. It is very hard to critique something like you have written. As you in no way want to diminish the feeling felt behind the words.
So I will understand perfectly if you don’t wish to read beyond this point. Or simply don’t comment on it.
Grief and Loss are two very similar but different things. Which are often confused with each other.
If I was to define personally. Loss is not having a person to walk to the store with. Grief is going for a walk to the store and missing the person who use to go with you.
They sound so similar. However the defining difference is often. That you can feel one and not the other. You can also feel both often at different times.
Your article blurred these two. Or danced in the grey areas far too much for me if you like.
I have seen others get pulled into grief so far they can not function at least not as they did. It smothers them. For days, weeks, months, maybe even years.
The only way they seem to move on. Is to put that grief aside.
Then there are people like me. Who function regularly. Then the bus turns a corner something happens. Which reminds us of that person. We then feel grief. Doesn’t go away.
Neither is better or worse. I should also add. That in the former example. The people I know. Usually have reoccurrences at special times. The persons birthday, an anniversary.
I think you are correct. We all feel grief because we have known love.
I just believe that Loss. How that person affected us. Is truly as powerful. Yet different than grief.
Tom,
First and foremost thank you so much for taking the time to read my piece so thoughtfully, and for your kind words about my khala I really appreciate it. I also appreciate you sharing your perspective on grief and loss.
When I was writing about it, I hadn't considered separating the two in quite the way you had described, and I found your example of walking to the store extremely moving. It captures something really real that sometimes what we carry isn't always grief in the most overwhelming form, but the quiet absence of someone who made ordinary moments feel different.
When I was writing this essay, I wasn't trying to offer a universal definition of grief so much as describe what it has felt for me as someone who has recently lost their aunt. In many ways, grief and loss have been intertwined, which is probably why the boundaries between them have become so intertwined throughout my writing.
So from the bottom of my heart thank you for your comment. One of the things that I love the most about conversations like this is realizing that we all experience love, loss, and grief differently. Thank you for sharing your experience so generously, and respectfully; it really gave me something meaningful to further reflect on.
I hope to see you as a future subscriber to ayro &co.
My best,
Ayra
Love you dear Ayra 💕