Echoing Hayley, I left a similar comment on your most recent article before I'd even seen this one. What you're feeling is very typical for this generation. We're all complaining that we're lonely, and none of us seems to be doing enough to fix it. To have a village, you need to be a villager. It's hard feeling like you're the only one making an effort, and at times I wonder why I bother, but I ultimately think it's worth it to (eventually) find the people that will be able to return that effort to you.
Thanks for sharing, it's nice to know we aren't so alone.
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment Chloe, I really appreciate it! I agree, sometimes this specific attribute about me irritates me to my core, but as I have gotten older I have realized that making efforts with people will allow me to see who stays, and who doesn't. We aren't alone in this. xx
"To have a village, you must be a villager" is a saying that guides my life. This essay resonates SO deeply with me. My favorite thing about myself is that I am an incredibly loyal friend. I take pride in that character trait. But, as you point out in your essay, being that friend 24/7 is difficult, and at time exhausting, especially as you enter adulthood and become even busier with work, etc. One positive of being that type of person is when you find the rare person that matches your energy and you feel what it is like to have the type of friend you are to other people in your own life. Now THAT is satisfying!
Thank you so much for your support, and your beyond thoughtful comment! I agree that is rare, I have a few very close friends like that. It without a doubt is rare, but so worth it! Though I won't lie, I hate being the loyal friend sometimes. It pisses me off, and has a tendency to test my patience!
The part where you realized you'd become the exact person you couldn't stand watching your mother be - that hit me. There's something so specific about that moment of recognition, where you see yourself clearly for the first time and it's both devastating and strangely freeing. I know that feeling.
Kara, thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it. I feel like we have all heard the famous saying, at the end of the day we all become our mothers. I think that is particularly true because I feel like at one moment we are constantly negating our mother's behaviors, and the next we are becoming them. You are right it is a devastating, and freeing feeling!
That is a great article, and it is so true. I remember growing up in NYC we used to have a saying, "Word is bond" which meant if I said I was going to do something, but nowadays people let each other down constantly. Just remember true friends are very few, the rest are aquatinted and nothing more. Stay true to yourself.
Thank you Gregory, for not only supporting my work, but leaving such a thoughtful comment. Yes I completely agree with you, as I get older one thing is starting to become more transparent to me majority of the people you know are your acquaintances, very few people are your close friends. That is why it is so incredibly important to nurture those friendships, and let go of the idea that everyone is your best friend because they aren't.
this is so true, reliability is so essential in any type of relationship! people who believe in showing up for someone and making an effort are the type of people i want around me.
Echoing Hayley, I left a similar comment on your most recent article before I'd even seen this one. What you're feeling is very typical for this generation. We're all complaining that we're lonely, and none of us seems to be doing enough to fix it. To have a village, you need to be a villager. It's hard feeling like you're the only one making an effort, and at times I wonder why I bother, but I ultimately think it's worth it to (eventually) find the people that will be able to return that effort to you.
Thanks for sharing, it's nice to know we aren't so alone.
Bisous,
Chloe
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment Chloe, I really appreciate it! I agree, sometimes this specific attribute about me irritates me to my core, but as I have gotten older I have realized that making efforts with people will allow me to see who stays, and who doesn't. We aren't alone in this. xx
"To have a village, you must be a villager" is a saying that guides my life. This essay resonates SO deeply with me. My favorite thing about myself is that I am an incredibly loyal friend. I take pride in that character trait. But, as you point out in your essay, being that friend 24/7 is difficult, and at time exhausting, especially as you enter adulthood and become even busier with work, etc. One positive of being that type of person is when you find the rare person that matches your energy and you feel what it is like to have the type of friend you are to other people in your own life. Now THAT is satisfying!
Haley!
Thank you so much for your support, and your beyond thoughtful comment! I agree that is rare, I have a few very close friends like that. It without a doubt is rare, but so worth it! Though I won't lie, I hate being the loyal friend sometimes. It pisses me off, and has a tendency to test my patience!
The part where you realized you'd become the exact person you couldn't stand watching your mother be - that hit me. There's something so specific about that moment of recognition, where you see yourself clearly for the first time and it's both devastating and strangely freeing. I know that feeling.
Kara, thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it. I feel like we have all heard the famous saying, at the end of the day we all become our mothers. I think that is particularly true because I feel like at one moment we are constantly negating our mother's behaviors, and the next we are becoming them. You are right it is a devastating, and freeing feeling!
That is a great article, and it is so true. I remember growing up in NYC we used to have a saying, "Word is bond" which meant if I said I was going to do something, but nowadays people let each other down constantly. Just remember true friends are very few, the rest are aquatinted and nothing more. Stay true to yourself.
Thank you Gregory, for not only supporting my work, but leaving such a thoughtful comment. Yes I completely agree with you, as I get older one thing is starting to become more transparent to me majority of the people you know are your acquaintances, very few people are your close friends. That is why it is so incredibly important to nurture those friendships, and let go of the idea that everyone is your best friend because they aren't.
You are welcome. The good thing is once you find a good friend they will always have your back.
this is so true, reliability is so essential in any type of relationship! people who believe in showing up for someone and making an effort are the type of people i want around me.
Exactly! Thank you for supporting my work, as always I really appreciate it!